Welcome to the Rec Room
Melissa Jordan
The Reconstruction Room - a bi-monthly reading and performance series located in Chicago - was co-founded and currently co-organized by Erin Teegarden (www.recroomers.com). Teegarden received a BA in journalism from Indiana University and then an MFA in poetry from the University of Pittsburgh, whose literary journal "nidus" she founded and formerly managed. She currently teaches Introduction to Literature and Introduction to Poetry at Columbia College, has received the Associated Writing Programs' "Intro Journals Award" for poetry, and has twice been a finalist in the Gwendolyn Brooks Open Mic Awards. Her poetry has appeared in "The Bellingham Review," "pms" (poemmemoirstory), "Lorraine and James," "Eye-Rhyme," "Sunspinner," "Conte Online." "preling," and Pittsburg's "City Paper," among others.
What is it like balancing a teaching career at Columbia College, an organizer for the Reconstruction Room, as well as a poet?
It can be pretty difficult to shift gears and move from being a teacher, to being a reading series organizer, to being a poet. For one, it's tough to move from analyzing/discussing the work of other poets to accessing that part of the brain that allows you to create your own poetry. Analysis (at least for me) requires a different kind of brainwork than creation. Writing poetry is an intuitive practice to me, however, reading it, understanding it and teaching others how to read and understand it, requires a specific kind of interrogation of the text. When I write, I allow myself to experiment and "be free". When I teach, I must at least have a working plan and some learning objectives that I am setting out to achieve.
How much do each of these things influence the others?
Because I teach a course in reading poetry, I am often influenced by the practice of reading and analyzing poetry. For example, if I am teaching a poem by Anne Sexton or Wanda Coleman by day, at night when I sit down to write, I might find myself internalizing their styles, and their voices/poems may be "singing" in my ears. At the very least, reading the poetry of others allows you to see the potential for you own work, or, how your words are speaking within a larger conversation.
Running the reading series is a great way for me to challenge myself to finalize poems. If I know I have to have something to read for an audience on a certain night that puts the fire under me and motivates me to complete the best work possible. Also, the reading series is a great way for me to be exposed to the work of my peers. Their words, too, are often singing in my head.
How much time do you spend on your own writing?
I try to write every night, even if it's just free writing for fun. Now, I'm not saying every session is a productive one, but it helps to at least get the ideas on paper. Sometimes quite a bit of my free writing is never accessed or returned to again, but if an image keeps coming up, night after night, chances are it's a creative obsession, and I need to get that sucker in a poem, some way, somehow.
So what is the Reconstruction Room? How and why did it start?
The reconstruction room reading series (we call it "rec room" for short) started in 2004, because two friends from grad school and I wanted to create a series that was independent of any Organization, "a place where artists were free to take risks, challenge dominant power structures, and eff with accepted modes of expression." (That's pretty much right from our mission statement.) The reading itself is what we like to call "a bi-weekly theme party." Each show presents a unique theme, and curators from the community invite performers (rec roomers) to define and shape this theme for an audience.
After four + years, the audience for rec room is often standing room only, and performers feel comfortable to experiment within their genre and to try out new works in a friendly and accepting environment. Audience interaction and collaboration is encouraged, and artists often involve attendees in their readings and performance.
Rec room takes place the first and third Wednesday of every month at Black Rock, a bar on Chicago's northside. Admission is free of charge and artists are not paid to perform. The series features new and established poets, fiction writers, essayists, playwrights, musicians, visual artists, comedians, filmmakers, improvisation actors, and multimedia and mixed genre performance artists. This series is volunteer run and all performers exist on the same level here. In other words, everyone's a headliner, and no one's getting paid.
What do you hope for your creative work to achieve in the world?
I suppose this is rather grandiose, but I would hope that my work would speak to any woman. I hope that it would vividly and uniquely explain/express the struggles and triumphs of one woman living in the 21st century. A good piece of writing has the power to empower, transform, encourage, and/or motivate both writer and reader. Every time I write, I do my best to write that kind of "good" poem.
Have you always wanted to write, have you been writing all along or was there one particular point in your life when you really started writing for enjoyment?
I have a picture hanging in my office of myself at eight years old. Above it is a little blurb titled "All About Me." Apparently, our teacher gave us assignments to write a little blurb about ourselves, our families, our likes, and what we wanted to be when we grew up. According to this blurb, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. Because my school did not really have a creative writing program, I pursued journalism in high school and college... However, I had a few good teachers (outside the classroom) who taught me what a poem was, and I remember that just blew my mind. I couldn't believe the freedom of expression that poetry allowed. When I first heard a free verse poem read to me by a friend over the phone, I was like "YOU CAN DO THAT? NO WAY! YOU CAN DO THAT IN POETRY?!" I was really floored.
From there, I began taking poetry courses in college. The whole world opened up for me, and I knew that poetry was something I wanted to pursue. I wish more kids would get exposed to poetry at a younger age. It seems like a lot of the stuff that is required reading in high school is old, stuffy and boring. I had no idea that poetry could be so alive, vibrant and of the times. I didn't really discover that until college. I wish I had learned that sooner. After college, I was accepted at the University of Pittsburgh to study poetry in an MFA program. The time spent in Pittsburgh was great. It was the first time I felt like I was surrounded by people who cared about the same things I did.
What is your writing process like? How do you develop your ideas? When you get writers block, how do you get around that?
I tend to write in a journal or type on my laptop. I try to at least free write every day. And not in a "chore" kind of way. I just journal and write because I do. I want to, or need to. It helps me sort of process my day. That's not to say I don't write a lot of crap. I most certainly do. But sometimes this process is a way to "clear the clutter". When I know I have a deadline, or when I feel inspired to write a poem, I will often turn to these journal entries or computer freewrites, and see if I can glean any inspiration from them. Most of the stuff in them is throw-away, but there are sometimes some powerful lines, that, when returned to, can create a full poem.
As for writer's block, I really hate that expression, because I think it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can't write and that you have nothing to write about, that gives you a pretty good excuse not to write. And we don't need to be giving ourselves excuses. The world at large is giving us plenty of reasons not to write, on a daily basis. If I feel stuck or like I just can't finish something, I either put the project on hold or abandon it all together. Or, if I have deadline pressure, etc., I simply push through and "finish" the piece in the best way I can. Even if I dislike the results, I chalk it up to a good attempt, and go from there.
How do you know when to stop working on a piece?
For me, this is very intuitive. It's hard to put into words. I would say I know it's done when I get a little "crush" on it. When I want to put the poem in my back pocket and read it over and over again during dull moments of my day. Maybe when I want to share it with friends. Maybe when a friend says it's good/done, or a literary journal accepts it for publication. I really try to trust my inner voice, and my friends and writing associates on this one.
Who has influenced your life or literary work/style?
Tony Hoagland, Lynn Emanuel and Toi Derricotte were famous poets and great teachers I had in grad school who influenced me and my work in many different ways. Terrence Hayes, Wanda Coleman, Alice Notley, D.A. Powell and Campbell McGrath were the favorite poets I heard read (and was able to chat with!) when I was in grad school. For fun, I love to read Frank O'Hara, Etheridge Knight, the T'ang Poets, Anne Sexton, Gwendolyn Brooks, Guillaume Apollinaire, Emily Dickinson, Carl Sandberg, Pablo Neruda, Richard Brautigan, ee cummings, Denise Duhamel, Maureen Seaton, Nikki Giovanni, Sharon Olds, Yusef Komunyakaa, Kenneth Koch. Gosh, the list goes on and on. Sometimes giving a list is weird, because I feel like people use that to "size you up". Generally, I like a lot of different styles and voices. I see value in most of them, though I do not always feel directly influenced by them in my own work. Like I said before, I feel like reading clues me in to "the conversation". Some of my strongest influences are the strong friendships I have with women writers -- people I know and talk with all the time -- like Della Watson, Krista Franklin, Miki Howald, Gail Giewont, to name just a few.
Have you experienced any obstacles in your life or work because of your gender? How did you overcome them?
Hmmmm. Well, it's strange. I grew up thinking a woman could do anything and there was no gender inequality. I guess that message had been programmed into me by the 70s feminism mothers of my generation. However, I still remember being a very little girl and seeing the world, and thinking "O.k. Erin, you can either be a smart woman, or you can be a pretty woman.Which one are you going to be?" There wasn't really an in between in my young mind. I made the choice at a young age that I was going to be a smart woman. I don't think I ever thought the two qualities could exist in the same person. When I got to college and grad school, this dichtomy was only confirmed for me by my female students (what is it with so many girls starting sentences in class discussions with.. "I'm not a feminist or anything, but..." Gah! That drives me NUTS! What's wrong with being a feminist?!..but I digress...), and by the actions of my male colleagues and peers. I began to realize that many of my male associates had trouble relating to me as an intellectual on their level. Like, if I looked cute or pretty or sexy one day, or wore a skirt or something, then that meant I couldn't be spoken to as an equal. It was always "Hey, Teegarden, nice dress!" but never "Hey Teegarden, what did you think about yesterday's reading?" And I know these guys were talking about academic topics with their male counterparts. I heard them in the halls doing it. Ha, I remember they even used to have this outside book club/reading group -- all the guys in my grad school class. They called it "Dinner for Dudes". I used to get SO MAD about how these guys, supposedly my friends and colleagues, would exclude me and all my female friends/classmates from their after-hours "discussions". When confronted about it, their excuse: "Man, it's just us sitting around and drinking beer, farting a lot, and talking about chicks in our class we want to [expletive deleted]."
O.k. so, I didn't want to be a part of nasty dinner for dudes anyway. In hindsight, I realize it was a rather small thing for me to sweat. However, I think the example illustrates how ingrained sexism still is in young men, whether said men are educated or not. They could pick apart the "problem of feminism" in class all day if they had to, but when it came down to it, they still saw women as sex objects, and didn't want to relate to them on an intellectual level. They could call it "male bonding" all they wanted. Dung by any other name still smells foul, ya know what I mean? The moral of the story is, when situations like these come up, you, as a woman, can either choose to write it off, battle it out, or ignore the problem all together.
I guess the best advice I can give for dealing with sexism is to tell you to choose your battles, and choose wisely. Too much nagging, and no one takes you seriously. Not enough, and all those old dirty evils run rampant. Most of the time, your own success is the best revenge. Let your values come through in every word and deed. Leading by example is a good place to begin. Also, there is strength in numbers. Count on your girls. Do your best to stay aligned with them. Use your female networking contacts. Help each other out. When one of you succeeds, you all succeed. Remember that.
Learn more about the Reconstruction Room at www.recroomers.com.